Mr. Rogers Article

This is an article I wrote for an assignment in creative writing:

Mr. Rogers mystifying off-camera life is explored in depth.

Everyday we watch him stroll into his house crooning a tune proclaiming yet another wonderful day in the neighborhood. We watch him change cardigans and from dress shoes to slippers. The he usually plays with a child’s toy or gets a phone call.

We may learn about how orange juice is made or build periscopes out of a milk cartons. We visit the fascist Land of Make Believe and we watch him change back into his regular clothes and leave.

But where does Fred Rogers go? After all, doesn’t every episode take place at Mr. Rogers home? Does he return home at night after leaving the set? What is this man, whom our children admire and spend time with every day doing when he’s not being filmed?

When asked about Mr. Rogers off-camera life, Mr. McPheely said, “I go to the billiards hall most every day of the week and he comes every Tuesday, but that’s the only place I’ve ever seen him off-set.” Bill Frye, the Garbag Guy on Mr. Rogers said, “He came to the Bingo club I attend once, but I’ve never seen him there since.” No other character on the show offered any other insight into the life of Mr. Fred Rogers.

So who is he? Does he gamble away his money at the local casino, preventing him from buying new sweaters? Does he work a side job at the Sizzler to provide for 4 wives and 27 children? Does he return home to eat Lean Cuisine and watch soap opera re-runs? Or does he simply visit the local craft store to figure out something new he can make out of construction paper, glue, staples, and rubber bands?

Whoever he is, more needs to be learned about the overly cheerful mysterious old man with a strange imagination and too much time on his hands before he infects the developing minds of our children.




Ask me to show you the whole paper sometime, it's quite well done if I do say so myself.

The Adventures of Band

So you've probably all heard me complain about how bad the band is at Viewmont. Our director, Mr. Chaston, drives me nuts. He's a horrible conductor in my opinion, especially after I was spoiled with Mr. Wolf for three years in Jr. High. Anyway, today the plan was (as a little post-concert relaxing class period) to pull out ALL the percussion equipment, show how it works, and put it all back, showing where it belongs. I wasn't opposed to this idea for the most part, although pulling out old snare stands that don't work should have made him accept that we need to GET RID OF THEM not put them back!

Anyway, we started the period how we always do, with Mr. Chaston talking for at least 20 minutes straight about things we have already heard, then someone getting irritated, making a comment, and him getting upset with that person and staying in a bad mood for the rest of the day. The problem was we have A LOT of percussion equipment, so every moment he talked, we were wasting time.

So eventually, someone pissed him off, so he just sat there for 5 seconds looking like he was about to erupt, and then said, FORGET IT! GET OUT THE EQUIPMENT! A few minutes later, I was talking to one of the percussionist and realized that all we have to do is tick him off a little! After all, he had us do WHAT WAS PLANNED after he got ticked off! Sheesh. That's all I have to say.

Another Change

So that whole spiritual idea didn't seem to be so hot among readers, so I've decided to make this a "Destination of Diverse Discussion" so I'll talk about anything and everything I want to. Kind of how it used to be, but hopefully more interesting.

Now regarding the game Saturday, (because I'm assuming you are all waiting for me to comment about it) it stunk. The only thing I'll say about the actual football game is that any Utah fan who thinks that BYU was absolutely crushed just because of the score is kidding themselves. If you're honest, that game was much closer than 48-24, our defense really did what it needed to do so that our offense had a chance to win the game.

The offense didn't deliver.

And it sucked.

But enough about that. Life goes on. I think. I hope.

My extended family is coming this week for a big Thanksgiving bash. I'm psyched, it's going to be a blast. Anyway, if I don't post until thursday: HAPPY STUFF YOUR FACE DAY. and don't forget to thank your Heavenly Father for how richly blessed you are. I know that I don't do it enough, and I think we can all thank him more often for how abundantly we are blessed.

And now I'll leave you with the drumline's motto this past marching season:

Don't suck.

Another Thought

Last Fast Sunday I was thinking about kind of the same thing as I posted about last time. My main thought, however, was that it would have been really cool if Heavenly Father had put me in the perfect situation so that I could have been Nephi's right hand man, or best friends with Captain Moroni, or lived in a cave with Mormon or Moroni. As I was thinking though, I realized that I am extremely lucky to have the people around me that I do.

My parents are amazing examples to me. I have incredible uncles and aunts who I look up to with so much respect and I have awesome friends and other extended family who are such an inspiration to me as well. I'm close to my Grandma and Grandfather and feel that missing my other Grandparents is a blessing, because I have to have faith that I can meet my Grandma and will see my Grandpa again someday. An besides that, it has also brought the nilsen side of my family closer together.

I have amazing priest advisors and an amazing bishop. I have gotten to be somewhat close to a brother in my ward who was just called to the stake presidency as well as our new stake president. My siblings have blessed me in many ways by not only helping me learn life lessons with them in our home, but just being friends that I'll love forever.

So, in the end, I'm glad that I live when I do, because living in a cave couldn't be all that great, no matter who is there with you. :)

Change in Blog Theme

I was thinking today. I've been really sick of the world lately. Sometimes I get frustrated that we live in the most wicked days the world has ever seen. There is so much filth all around us and quite frankly, it sucks. So far, this blog to date has been a place for me to tell you about my life, fill out surveys, talk about byu, and post my story, but for now, I want it to be a place where I can talk about churchy stuff. I'm not saying that every post will be solely churchy stuff, like I might post about my life once in a while, participate in a tag or two, and probably mention byu more than you want to hear about it, but for the most part, I want this to be my own little spiritual sanctuary. So for my first thought:

The other day I was feeling like life was getting too hard. Not to the point that I'm suicidal or anything even in that realm, but I was just feeling what I stated above: living in these times sucks. So I said a little prayer that as I read my scriptures I would receive a little motivation, a little boost as to why this was all worth it. I already knew the answer, but I thought that it was a valid topic to dedicate my scripture study to. The first scripture I read was Mosiah 14:3-5.

"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."

That's why it's worth it. Because he wants us to return home so much that he was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities and I know that with his stripes we can be healed.

And that is my thought of the day :)

Tag

1 OF YOUR NICKNAMES: B3 Bomber (drumline thing)

2 DREAM CARS: 1976 white corvette, yellow retro camaro

3 FAVORITE COLORS: Blue, green, and orange,

4 FAVORITE SPORTS(if any): soccer, football, basketball, indoor soccer

5 FAVORITE BOOKS: harry potter series, the firm, runaway jury, princess bride (yes, the book), bleachers

6 FAVORITE MOVIES: Princess bride, batman begins, batman the dark knight, miracle, sixth sense, remember the titans,

7 FAVORITE FOODS: six dollar burgers, roast, steak, manicotti, poppy seed chicken, sunday chicken, tacos (preferably beef),

8 FAVORITE SONGS: Tomorrow is today, summer highland falls, meant to live, kernkraft 400, better together, bubble toes, faithfully, my girl

9 FAVORITE STORES TO SHOP AT: are there that many stores? lets see, DI, the apple store, scoreboards sports, dicks (haha), carls jr. (lol), DI, scoreboard, did I say DI?, DI

10 DESIRED VACATION SPOTS: England, rio de janeiro, florida, california, europe all around, bahamas, idk, europe should cover it.

Quiz TIme

So my dad has his 40th birthday party a week or so ago. My mom had me make a BYU quiz because byu was the theme of the party. So, since I don't really have time to post anything else, I'll post my quiz. I know there are a few people who already know the answers, so I'm sorry that this is kinda lame for you, but I don't really have time for anything else.

Cool, Complicated, Quiz of Cougar Comprehension

1) What year did BYU go undefeated and win the National Championship?



2) Who is the only BYU player to win the Heisman Trophy and what year did he win it?



3) How many BYU quarterbacks have won the Davey O’brien award? (Extra credit if you can name them)



4) What BYU player won the Doak Walker award?



5) Which generally overlooked BYU quarterback passed for more career yards than Steve Young (hint: the first 5 are: Detmer, Beck, McMahon, Bosco, Walsh. Steve Young is 7th, who is sixth?)



6) From the stretch of 1978-1984 BYU played in the same bowl game every year, what bowl was it?



7) Who gained the most all-purpose, yards in their career for BYU?



8) Who gained the most all-purpose yards in a single season for BYU? What season was it?



9) What receiver caught the most passes in their career for BYU?



10) Tie breaker (if needed): How many yards did Ty Detmer throw for in his career? (try to be the closest)

Mourning, Some Poems, And News

Ok, BYU lost. There. It's out there. I know it. I don't deny it, nor will I make any excuses for my team or anything like that, the truth is it sucked. It sucked bigtime. I cried myself to sleep Thursday night. I hate frogs, in fact I killed my little brother's pet frog after the game. Ok, no I didn't, it already died a couple weeks ago. But I wish it was still alive so that I could kill it.

To look on the bright side-if there is one-I got a chance to teach my little brother about true fanhood. You see when the game was completely out of reach my little brother, Nate, said,
"Let's turn it off, this is stupid."
Now to an onlooker this may seem to be an act of acceptance and reality. But as a true fan, I'll tell you that this was actually a prime example of a fair-weather fan in action. I turned to him and said,

"Nate, are you a BYU fan just when BYU wins or are you a BYU fan no matter what?"

He looked at me and said, "You mean you want to watch this?"

I responded, "I'm just as upset about this game as you are Nate, in fact, probably even more than you, but I'm still a BYU fan. Even if BYU lost every game in a season, I'd still call myself a BYU fan with pride."

Lesson learned.

Now, I finally got my poem project back in creative writing, and since I still haven't come up with a new story idea, I'll just post some of those for now. The first poem needs explanation, but I can't through writing without getting wordy, so if you're losing any sleep over it, ask me about it the next time you get a chance and I'll explain how I came up with it.

Creeping From My Bunk For Water
A huge dilapidated living room,
with some pirate theme,
caused a thirst so unmanageable
as I was lifting a pot of steaming asparagus,
that a dimpled, fat, white,
heavyset girl with a ponytail,
who was my homeroom teacher,
Mrs. Winterbottom, offered me a brownie to ease the thirst.
I then rose and made a speech,
"You aren't supposed to
creep from your bunk for water, even with thirst so unmanageable
that
your face
lay
in a certain room
swearing
that the thirst was to a point
that it might be more wrong than we know.
Even when
the fall of the heart calls on heroes
I had seen pictures of,
those tall daughters whose fast footsteps
seemed to've corrected
the breathing of some stupendous creature,
not even then do we creep from our bunk for water."

The Thong Song
There is a song;
It is so long.
When it gets stuck in your head
You'll wish you were dead.
I think I'd rather wear a thong.

The Life of a Fife
This is a fife.
It lives in the fickle fissures of far-off Frinkleville.
A fife eats the finest, frothy, frugal, flounder.
It likes filming, flying, flopping, and fizzing around its fickle fissure.
For fun it finds feisty fools and fights their freaky friends.
Friday my fife found my favorite French fries and flung them at my furious face.

Oh What Fun It Is To Water-Ski

I hear the zipper and now I'm awake
My muscles are sore and I'm starting to quake
But shortly I recall, the sooner the better
Quickly goes on my black, hooded sweater

A little hot chocolate I quickly sip
And I try to forget about the short length of our trip
After a bit of muffin, we're on the lake
Gently I stretch, for my body's sake

I slip off my shirt in an awkward pose
And a whiff of campfire is caught in my nose
I remember last night, with the music and laughs
I think a little more sleep might have helped my calves.

I gracefully dive in and catch my breath
The soreness in my muscles now feels like death
I surface the water and slip on my ski
Ah! Now it's warm, I just took a pee

Soom on the water, smooth as glass
No boats to see, no boats to pass
A feeling like heaven, complete peace of mind,
An emotion I can never seem to find

With freedom of motion I zig and I zag
The tighter the turn, the less the sag
As I make a hard cut, my body seems to moan
I let go of the handle and release a silent groan

I hit the water, as hard as concrete
Again my body and the soreness meett
I was just getting dry! Now I'm all wet
I have to search for my ski, which I swim to get

I'm limp and tired and back in the boat
Watching other skiers, making mental note
"Give me a rest!" is my body's plea
Yet oh what fun it is to water-ski

And last but not least

As I think about the world and all it's crazy creeps
A nervous emotion into my body seeps
I don't like this feeling, no I don't like it
That's why I've decided to make my blog private

If you don't tell me your email, your face I will flog,
not to mention you'll never be able to read my great blog!

At Long Last

After months of searching, I finally have the song that is played before byu games in the stadium. It's called Kernkraft 400 by Zombie Nation.


Quote of the Day: "You're stupid and you have body odor." (Imagine with an oriental accent.)

Homecoming

Well homecoming was this weekend and it was awesome. I asked a girl named Cassidi Widdison who was my parents daughter on trek. She is so nice and super cute. For our day activity we went disc golfing, which was a ton of fun. I was really worried that it would be too hard and nobody would really enjoy it, but it worked out and everybody had a good time. Last night we went to Robintino's for dinner, which was alright. We had fun chatting although neither Cassidi or I was very hungry, so we didn't eat much. Then we went to the dance, got pictures, and danced the night away. Afterwards we went to my friend's house and watched "The Eye." It's a really dumb movie if you ask me, but I still had fun.

Office quote of the day: "You think I'm retarted?"

59-0

I knew this team was legit, it just took a couple games to show.
GO COUGARS!

Who am I? 24601!

So in Creative Writing we are working on a poetry project where we have to write many different styles and formats of poetry. Because this is the first of the year, our teacher is making ourselves and our personalities the topic of many of our poems. I think I'm going through the classic high-schooler-trying-to-find-his-identity phase. I say this because as I try to write these poems about myself, I realize that other than soccer player, water-skier, wannabe-writer, and mormon, not a whole lot describes me, and the first three of those are pretty shallow descriptions (in my mind). I don't know, maybe I just don't want to open the depths of my soul to my creative writing teacher.

(If you don't get the title of this post, don't ask.)

Almost an exact copy

Well, I don't really know what to post about and I know that my blog is getting boring to read, but for right now I'll copy my cousin Kate's blog and tell you about school and football (yes, again, I know).

So my schedule:
A days:
1st: AP Calculus; pretty good so far, I have a funny teacher who explains the concepts pretty well so far. I think I'll pass the AP Test.
2nd: AP American History; SO much easier than AP Euro. No comparison. But I still look forward to learning a lot in that class.
3rd: Creative Writing; Easily my best class this semester, in fact I think I'm going to drop one of my second semester classes so I can take Creative Writing 2. You'll probably be reading a lot of what I write in there.
4th: Percussion Ensemble; Well, what would school be without percussion? Marching band is...well, not just getting to me, it has bored (sp?) a hole in my skin and infected me, leaving few moments free of thoughts regarding marching band.
B days:
5th: Seminary; I have a really awesome teacher and what appears to be an awesome class. I can only hope that it will be better than my class last year.
6th: English; Much harder than originally expected. I have an interesting teacher, who makes a point to swear during every class period, but I think I'm going to learn a lot from her.
7th: AP Calculus Lab; basically a Calculus study period/study hall. This will certainly ease the burden of two AP classes.
8th: Physics; I have a hilarious teacher and I look forward to learning physics. Because it's math-based, I think I'm going to do very well in that class.

BYU FOOTBALL STARTS TODAY! MY INSIDES ARE BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT!

This is a poem that I wrote in creative writing (hopefully no one is offended, it's meant to be a "racist against white people" joke poem).

Just because I'm white

Just because I'm white,
Doesn't mean I can't jump,
Doesn't mean that I'm slow,
And doesn't mean I can't put on a show.

Just because I'm white,
Doesn't mean I can't rap,
Doesn't mean I can't groove,
And doesn't mean I can't get funky and move.

Just because I'm white,
Doesn't mean I'm not sick,
Doesn't mean I'm not chill,
And doesn't mean my name can't be li'l

Why can't I be tight?
Why can't I flirt?
Why do I find it necessary to tuck in my shirt?
Oh yeah, just because I'm white.

Tagged

A - ATTACHED OR SINGLE: Single.
B - BEST FRIEND: I'd have to say Jordan, Matt, or Sean.
C - CAKE OR PIE: Pie, no doubt.
D - DAY OF CHOICE: Friday
E - ESSENTIAL ITEM: Insulin pump :)
F - FAVORITE COLOR: blue and green
G - GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Passing the AP test, or getting a 30 on the ACT (and I like to think that I'm not a nerd, oh well)
H - HOMETOWN: Well, I like to say Provo, but really Farmington is my home.
I - INDULGENCES: the office, BYU football, water-skiing, hot chocolate, egg nog.
J - JANUARY OR JULY: July
K - KIDS: are baby goats
L - LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT: BYU football
M - MARRIAGE DATE: undecided
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3 (younger sister, two younger brothers)
O - ORANGES OR APPLES: oranges
P - PHOBIAS OR FEARS: getting in a wreck and injuring someone that's in the car.
Q - QUOTES: (See blog title) "The mind must wrap around the foot."
R - REASON TO SMILE: 'cause I'm so funny
S - SEASON: Summer IF I go waterskiing a lot
T - TAG SOME FRIENDS: Kate, Thomas, Matt
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I'll sometimes stop and say, "Is there anything I'm nervous about right now?"
V - VERY FAVORITE STORE: DI, seriously, everything I buy from DI I use/wear.
W - WORST HABIT: Sarcasm/rolling over other people's opinions
X - WENDY'S OR MCDONALD'S(sorry, not much goes with x's): I'm going to go with Carl's Jr.
Y - YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: Steak, roast, tacos, manicotti, hamburgers, sunday chicken, the list goes on
Z - ZODIAC: Taurus (I think)

Just Can't Wait

I've bought my season tickets and although the olympics and the approaching school year are distracting me, I'm about ready to..I don't know...do something really crazy that makes you realize how much I LOVE BYU FOOTBALL!!! Do I deny the fact that this is an obsession? No. Do I realize that most people don't consider my love natural or acceptable? Yes. Do I care? NO! I FREAKING LOVE BYU FOOTBALL!

Life's Simple Pleasures

I'm just discovering the joy of Deep Thoughts WIth Jack Handey. Here are a few of my favorites so far.

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.

How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.

I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

If, when you die, you get to choose between regular heaven and pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if not, oh boy!

(That last one is just one that I've heard my dad say, so I'm sorry if it's not word for word.)

Short, Sweet, To The Point

I've decided that long, drawn-out posts that I write in hopes for lots of comments are dumb. I'm going to give lots of short posts for the most part from here on out. Quick updates, short stories, and quotes should fill these roles. So:

I've been thinking about righteous desires and living life to the fullest. When both are combined, we do not need to worry, or do anything except just that--live life to the fullest in persuit of our righteous desires. Sometimes I worry about the complexity of life, but in all reality, life is simple: Desire righteously and live righteously to the best of your ability.

Always On My Mind

Sadly, I have only been skiing three times this whole summer. A sad let down from the 17 days of skiing that I had last summer.


I finally got a new ipod and bought myself an itunes gift card (due to the fact that I didn't have to pay a penny for my new ipod!). So lately I've been thinking about what music to get, any suggestions would be welcome.


This season's theme is "Quest For Perfection." ...'Nuff said.


If only...


My team just finished a tournament. We beat my old team, beat Sparta premier, tied Rangers premier, and lost to the top team in the state for our age group in the final. I played pretty well and we're pleased with our result. I'm so incredibly sore.


The strain of drumline captain is getting to me. I've always taken it seriously when people have said to me, 'You need to go home and practice and have that ready to play by tomorrow.' Clearly this isn't the case with everyone. Grr...


Oh my goodness, this movie is incredible. Freaky, but incredible.

Now, regarding the situation at work that you all want to hear about: I can't tell you anything until it's all over, I'm sorry.

My babies

These are my new cleats. The picture really doesn't do them justice. They are truly a thing of beauty and were it not for the second of the ten commandments--well, you get my point.

A few nice things about them are:

1. They are made of Kangaroo leather-an extremely lightweight, durable material that breaks in quickly and forms perfectly to your foot.
2. That's pretty much all I had in mind, but they are freakin' sweet and well worth the $130 I paid for them (For those of you going, "What an idiot! $130! Is he out of his mind?!"--130 dollars really is not that expensive when it comes to soccer cleats, top of the line cleats are up around $300 or more.).

Tag and some news

The rules are as follows: List 3 Joys, 3 Fears, 3 Goals, 3 Current Obsessions, and 3 Random Surprising Facts About Yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

Joys:

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Life
(Sorry thomas, I know that was a direct copy, but that is really all I can think of to fit under "joys")

Fears:

1. Losing people close to me
2. Sustaining an injury which would leave me in misery for the rest of my life (seems like a legit fear to me)
3. Disappointing people who are counting on me

Goals:

1. Play well in my soccer game tomorrow night
2. Serve a mission
3. Live a happy life

Obsessions:

1. BYU football
2. Soccer
3. Right now, Harry Potter, I know I'm a big nerd, oh well, it keeps me away from the tv during the summer which is a good thing I guess

Surprising Facts:

1. At the end of the day I will often decide what the "word of the day" was for me
2. I'm getting a new pair of cleats tomorrow
3. I rarely stay up past 11:30

And now for the news:
I FREAKIN' PASSED THE AP TEST!! TODAY IS LIKE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE SO FAR!

oh yeah, I tag anyone that wants to do this that hasn't yet

The Best Ideas Are Stolen

This is from my aunt's blog:

I’m not really into tags, but this one speaks to my inner child. You see, on every person’s birthday in my childhood home (and remember there were TEN! of us), we sat around at dinner and recounted memories of the birthday person. Hands down, the person who enjoyed this tradition most was my dad—he practically shot sunshine out of his ears as we each took a minute to share a funny and/or touching memory of each other.

And now with my own little family, we have carried on the tradition of memory sharing. My kids especially like to recall the time I ripped a melty-sticky cookie from Max’s hands and yelled unintentionally like the Soup Nazi, “NO COOKIE FOR YOU!”

See how fun this is? I’m humiliated already!

Here are the directions:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, if we’ve actually met in person or not, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.

It sounds like fun, although it seems that my little blogosphere that I created has started to die, though I hope it will quickly resurrect.

Things I've Learned In My Working Career

Turning in one application usually won't get you a job.

Sometimes it does.

Transmissions get REALLY hot during the summer.

A 16-17 year old male with his 35-45 year old mother/father asking for help out with their groceries is the epitome of laziness.

Telling someone you busted their sprinkler head is hard, especially if they're old and grouchy.

Some parents take their kid's sports WAY too seriously.

Transmissions are sharp.

Paper bags suck.

Getting paid $7.50 an hour as a 12 year old is lucky.

Transmissions are heavy.

Some people love food more than their own bodies.

America consumes a ridiculous amount of meat.

My legs must be ugly, because I got sent home to change into pants (even though we are supposed to be able to wear shorts).

A simple raise of a flag means more to some people than their religion.

ATF does not come out of clothes.

Never walk into a grocery 5 minutes before closing time on a saturday night to do your grocery shopping for the week, it's just plain cruel.

Apparently it's possible to get going 145 mph in a 25 mph zone (hacking up a lung sound).

There is such a thing as SPAM burger in a can. Hurl. And people buy it. Double hurl.

College is a very good thing which I will definitely take part in.

The Incredible Results of the Fantabulous Ginormous Quote Challenge with the Gargantuan Prize of 100 dollars!

Just kidding. But here are the results:

1. Too Much Time On My Hands, Styx

2. Batman Begins

3. The Office, Benihana Christmas

4. The Outsiders

5. Dream On, Aerosmith

6. Remember the Titans (of course, sheesh, if you missed that one you should be ashamed)

7. MULAN! This one had pretty much every single one of you besides matt, who either didn't know any of the others (which I doubt) or just chose not to participate.

8. Groundhog Day

9. The Best Two Years

10. Tomorrow is Today, the great, Billy Joel

And by my count the winner is my dad, with a pretty awesome score of 8. Sorry thomas, cheating off other people never works, especially if it's sean :D.

Quote Time

Well, you all know I love quotes, and it's been a long time since I had a quote post. So...

1. I've given up hope on the afternoon soaps and a bottle of cold brew.

2. What's the point of all those push-ups if you can't lift a bloody log?

3. Some places won't make it though, 'cause egg nog is seasonal.

4. Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.

5. Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

6. "You had twelve brothers and sisters?" "Eight." "Yeah, twelve sounds better."

7. And what are you, a sheep?

8. Watch out for that first step-it's a doosy!

9. No wait, now he's goin' the other way, no, he stopped, he got somethin' out of his pocket, no wait, IT'S GUM!

10. I don't care, to know the hour 'cause it's passing anyway.

Don't use the internet, it's lame, just fyi, there are quotes from tv shows, movies, and songs.

Reader Request

Ok, so this post is not what you're thinking, really I've just had a couple "requests" of things to post.

First of all, sorry Heidi, I didn't get any pictures of the cast, I do have a picture of my nose right after it was broken on my phone, however, I cannot post it because we do not have internet service on our plan. One of these days I'm going to get internet service for just a day so I can buy some more games and ringtones and such-on said day, I will be sure to e-mail the picture to myself and then I can post it.

Secondly, there was a request for more info on the nose. So, as already mentioned, I had surgery on it. When he did the surgery to move it back into place, it kept trying to move back. To help compensate he shoved a sponge up my nose to hold it in place. Basically at my follow-up appointment he just pulled the sponge out (which hurt a little, but not too much, my eyes just watered for a minute or two) and said "Be careful, don't hit it again." It took about 5 minutes. We walked in, he ripped out the sponge, and we left.

Lastly, Matt Montgomery asked that I post the critical e-mail I sent to Amy Donaldson.

Brief summary of her article if you don't want/have time to read it: The NBA just came out and said that they might start fining players for "flopping." Originally she was against this, but after taking a trip to Europe and watching a little more soccer, she realizes how "critical" it is that we avoid letting the NBA become European soccer. Ridiculous. As you will see momentarily, I went a little overboard, maybe my blood sugar was high or something, I don't know, but some of the things she said (as you will see) really ticked me off.

Mrs. Donaldson,
I just read your article “Flipping opinion on flop rule” and although I understand your viewpoint, I was aggravated by your presentation. These 4 sections of your article were particularly frustrating:

1. “After just two matches, I saw more grown men writhing around in alleged pain than I did shots on goal. If another player even got within spitting distance, and had a shot at stealing the ball, the fragile athlete fell to the turf with more grace than a ballet dancer and a look of anguish that would make Clint Eastwood proud.” And flopping will “make you look like the world’s wimpiest man…”

First of all, your comparison of flops to shots on goal is ridiculous; at least 75% of a soccer game is played in the middle third of the field. Of course there were more “flops” than shots on goal! Defenses are good enough that shots on goal in professional, particularly EUROPEAN professional, soccer are rare and usually there are less than 10 shots on goal. Secondly, the reference to a soccer player as a “fragile athlete” is most disgusting. Allow me to relate some facts about soccer to prove my point:
(At this point I had a chart comparing soccer to basketball such as "Length of field/court: soccer, 100 yards bball 60 feet; length of game: soccer, 90 min. bball, 48 min. this is not to offend anyone, I was just making a point about how athletic soccer players are. Also, I was not saying that bball players are not athletes either, simply that some parts of soccer require a different level of endurance/conditioning than bball.)

As I’m sure you know, soccer players are running at least 80% of the game. To refer to such an athlete as “fragile” is, as I said, disgusting.

2. “I don’t want to see the NBA go the way of International soccer” and “After watching a few international soccer matches this week, I’m beginning to believe we better nip this trend while it’s still a stinking bud.”

My only issue with these statements is the lack of assessment and abundance of opinion-stating. As far as I’m concerned, we read your columns to get accurate, reliable assessments of events and facts relating to sports, not hear you badmouth sports you don’t like.


3. “I had to flip the channel to a Lifetime movie after three consecutive flops embarrassed even an Oprah-loving bawl-baby like me.”

Are you kidding? If you would put a particle of effort into thinking about how incredibly talented and athletic the players you are watching are, it would far surpass the annoyance of an occasional flop. Also, you far exaggerate the frequency of flops in soccer, they’re there, but not as you’re suggesting.


4. “That seems to be the case in soccer. Officials not only reward the floppers, they pick them up, dust them off and scold the player who got too close.”

Once again: Are you kidding? What soccer are you watching? The last time I watched a professional soccer game (Champions League final, you should check it out, I saw a minimal amount of “wimpiness”) the ref did no more than blow his whistle when he saw a foul. The scene you are describing is not exaggerated, it’s just flat-out a figment of your imagination.

I’m not denying the presence of flopping in soccer, and I don’t like it either, but your portrayal of soccer players and competitive soccer as a bunch of wimps running around and falling to appeal to the ref is ignorant and uneducated.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Reader

An Update in the Life of J.J. Crowley

I'm working at Dick's Market in Centerville, it's a good job and I'm enjoying it.

I have a follow up appointment with the ENT on Wednesday.

I was seriously afraid of getting addicted to Lortab while I was on it.

I'm not.

I wrote a brilliant, critical, harsh e-mail to Amy Donaldson in response to her article in the Deseret News this morning. Any soccer fans who are in the mood to get mad, check out http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,700233069,00.html.

I'm currently thinking about the next Trepidation-like project for this blog, it needs a little rejuvination.

I find out if I passed the AP test in the second week of July.

I'm the Viewmont Drumline Captain.

I'm on a new soccer team, after all that drama, I'm going to play for a brand new team where I'll get playing time and I already know a few of the players, plus they're at about the same level as the team I was playing with before.

I'm currently saving up for 3 things: a new Ipod (my old one died), texting for my phone, and money for boating.

At Long Last Part 1: Revisited

Ok, last time I left you with no knowledge besides:
1. I broke my nose
2. It didn't really hurt

So, to pick up where we left off:

After I broke it, we went to the InstaCare. They cleaned me up and explained (before the x-rays) that whether or not I would need surgery would depend on how the bone was angled. We then took the x-rays and the doctor said that it looked like I wouldn't need surgery. Then I asked him when I could play soccer again, he said that we would need to get the opinion of an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. I asked him when we should go and see one. He said I had to wait for the swelling to go down. I asked him how long it would take for the swelling to go down(a little irritated that he wasn't directly answering my question). He said that we should make an appointment in a week. So we did.

Just this past Tuesday (June 3rd) we went and saw and ENT. They were pretty surprised when we told him that it had been about 10 days since it had been broken. We told them that we had just waited like the doctor at the InstaCare had told us. As it turns out, broken noses should be seen 3-5 days after the break, and surgery should be done (if necessary) 10-14 days after the break. Well, contrary to the InstaCare doctor's opinion I DID need surgery, which left us with a matter of days to get the surgery done. So, this morning, I had my first ever surgery. It wasn't bad, except for the waking up part and the fact that it hurts now a lot more than when I broke it. I've got a sweet cast (sweet is sarcastic) on my nose which I have to leave on for a week or until it falls off (which will be sooner than a week, I can promise you that). The doctor said that the cast is really more to remind me to not get it hit again, so a piece of tape will do if it falls off. I see a piece of tape on my nose in the very near future.

Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors in this, my blood sugar is sky-high (another long story) and I'm on serious pain meds. Have a good day!

At Long Last Part 2

Well, I finally broke down and e-mailed the BYU English Department because I was so sick of not hearing from them. Here is what I wrote:

Mrs. Hauglid,
My name is Josh Crowley. I entered a short story in the BYU English Department's young writer's competition. On the criteria web page, it states that "results will be announced in the spring." After talking to participants from previous years, it is my understanding that all participants are notified of their results, regardless of whether they placed in the top three. I'm wondering if I should expect an e-mail/letter indicating my results.

Thank you for your time,
Josh Crowley

This is her response:

Dear Josh:

I assume you are talking about the Re: Writing contest? If so, I'm sorry to say I just on Friday shredded all the entries from people who didn't win. So I can't look up your entry. However, we did send emails out to both winners and non-winners alike about a month or so ago. I wonder if yours somehow didn't get to you. If so, I certainly apologize for that.

We had hundreds of entries from all over the world; many were deserving of placing in the contest. Thanks so much for entering. I know that takes time and some courage. I hope you will keep writing!

Let me know if you have any questions I can answer.

Sincerely,
Tessa Hauglid



So, apparently I didn't win. I feel better knowing that there were hundreds of entries, but I was a little surprised/disappointed in the quality of language in her response. There is at least 1 incomplete sentence, and the whole thing at the beginning is confusing and I have no idea what she is talking about.

Oh well, maybe next year.

Dilemma

I need advice on some more soccer drama. Here's the situation:

Last fall the Rush club (who I play for) had two teams, I was on the "B" team, though we finished with the same amount of points in our division as the "A" team. Then in the spring, several of the players from the "A" team made the high school team. Tryouts were just this past week, and I could not tryout because of my nose, but regardless, Becky (my coach) told me to not worry about it because they have seen me play before. Well she just called and talked to my mom and told us that at tryouts, only 7 of the players from last fall's "A" team showed up and are going to be playing with us. She told my mom that I have a spot on the team if I want it, but I would be 19th on the roster, meaning that I would rarely, if ever, play. So...

Being on the team:

Pros:
Get to play with high level of competition
Get to know players on the high school team better, meaning the high school coach might notice me or find out that I exist
Get better in preparation for high school ball
Get to play the sport I love, though not in games

Cons:
Big time commitment with little reward for my efforts
I would have to play with players (from the high school team) who I really don't like nor get along with
Don't get to play the sport I love, in games at least

Not playing on the team:

Pros:
Avoid drama
More time

Cons:
No chance of being noticed by the high school coach
Entire season of training and preparation to play high school lost

I don't know what to do...



Oh, by the way, I got my license yesterday. Stay off the roads. :)

At Long Last

No, I haven't found out anything on my story, BUT I did break my nose in my game tonight. This marks the first serious injury I have sustained in a game, and it's been a long time comin'. Of course, I don't go looking to get hurt, but I have thought in the past that all good soccer players should, at some point in their career, get seriously injured during a game or practice. So yeah, it's not that bad and it doesn't hurt too much.

The way it happened is all kind of a blur, all I know is that I was marking this kid, the ball bounced up to him, and somehow the side of his head ended up embedded in my face. Well, that's an exaggeration, but it did hurt at first. He actually had to come out because his ear hurt, so apparently it was the side of his head, though I originally thought that it was the back. My biggest regret is that we didn't get a picture of my bloody face (no pun intended). It's crooked but not overwhelmingly.

Pictures [not bloody :( ] may be coming in the future, but unfortunately I'm on dial-up, so not for a while at least.

Thought Of The Day

Lately I've been thinking about the monotony of life. The more I think about it the more I seem to realize that time really is like a prison. It's the same everyday: Wake up, go to school (which is generally the same everyday), get home, do homework, do extra-curricular activities, go to bed. One of my favorite quotes says:

"The way we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." In the end, am I going to look back on life and realize, "Dang, I did pretty much the same thing every day, my whole life was just filled with the same boring stuff over and over and over again."? I hope not.

I just want to do something crazy like...dance to "This Is Why I'm Hot" in front of the whole school, stage dive, and then run all the way home. But in the end, what would that profit me? Sure, I might feel like a rebel and defiant and everything, but we're still trapped. We're almost stuck in this big pit of time where everything seems rational. Everything points to God, yet at the same time the rationality tests your faith in God.

Have you ever thought about how all we are working towards in this life is death? Don't think I'm suicidal or anything, but really, what do we do? We keep the commandments (hopefully), endure to the end (hopefully), and die (for sure-ly). Then we move on to bigger and better things. However, there is one scripture (I know, I'm going Peter Priesthood on you) that comforts me regarding this matter. D&C 38:15:

"Therefore, be ye strong from henceforth; fear not, for the kingdom is yours."

And that is my thought of the day.

Sweet Sixteen

Well, yesterday was my sixteenth birthday. I got a phone! It's a Katar (or Kaytar, I can't remember), it's basically a knock-off of the Razor. I'm way happy, except for one thing: I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND OUT ANYTHING ABOUT MY STORY! WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?! I love BYU more than anyone on earth, but I'm getting a little frustrated, in case you can't tell.

Brief Breakdown of the AP Test

Multiple Choice: This was definitely my best part of the test, I definitely did well enough to pull off a 3 (3-5 is passing, 1-2 is failing)

DBQ (I know, most of you probably don't know what this is. I'll probably explain it in a future post, but I don't have time right now.): I didn't do great on this part, but I still think I did well enough to get a 3.

First Essay: Definitely the better of my two essays. I knew the topic pretty well and feel confident about it.

Second Essay: Definitely the worst part of my test, the topic I ended up picking (I'll explain how the test actually works in my next post also) was the changing role of women in 19th century Europe. Although I don't know this topic that well, it's not a very hard topic to BS, if you know what I mean, so I feel alright about it.

Overall I feel pretty good about how I did. It was still extremely hard and draining, but I'm pretty confident that I pulled off a 3. If not, life goes on, I'll be bummed, but again, my eternal salvation won't be in jeopardy or anything like that.

Adios for a while, our Crowley family is having a party over the weekend.

I'm Going To Have A Life Again!

The AP test is tomorrow! I'm apprehensively confident. Yeah, that's about it. Wish me luck!

Fun? Scary? Funny? Interesting? Ridiculous? You pick.

After reading a post from my cousins blog about his sister's hilarious softball game (visit mygeniusmind.blogspot.com, sorry I don't know how to enclose links, and quite frankly, I don't want to figure out right now), I started realizing all of the similar experiences that I've had, so I thought that I'd blog about them. I may need to break this into several posts, because the more I think about it, the more I realize the ridiculous amount of funny sports experiences that I've had.

Experience #1:
After getting certified as a soccer ref, I learned about the offsides rule. For people who don't understand, offsides is when the offensive team passes the ball to one of their players who is behind the defending teams defenders (if it doesn't make sense, don't lose any sleep over it). However, there are some other keys to this rule, one of which is that if there is a player who is in an offside position, but does not receive the ball, they may still be offsides. As the ref you have to decide IF THEY AFFECT THE PLAY. Keep that in mind as I relate this first story.

I was sidelining a 9-year-old girls game (meaning that I was a referee on the sideline) with to very good clubs. In my opinion, to have kids in that level of competition at 9 years old, girl or boy, and be putting the amount of pressure that their coaches and parents put on them, is ridiculous. Anyway, it was either tied or Avalanche was down by one, but either way, Avalanche got the ball came down on an attack. One of their girls was literally standing next to the goalie, COMPLETELY OFFSIDES! One of the girls shot the ball, on the side of the goalie that the offside-girl was on and scored. I raised my flag, figuring that no way under heaven was the offside-girl not involved in the play. The coach (luckily on the other side of the field) erupted. He was cussing at me across the field and freaking out, it was...exciting.

Experience #2:
You may remember me mentioning a while ago about scoring against a team whose players I know and have played with. During that game, lots of things happened, which I may tell you some other time. At one particular point though, the opposite sideline was getting frustrated about the game getting called one-sided. This was ridiculous however, because they were being WAY more physical/cheap (which isn't always a bad thing, but you can't be aggresive and not expect a few calls against you). At one point we had parents from both sides yelling across at each other to shut up and you're wrong and all kinds of crap. At this precise moment, one of my teammates who was on the sideline with me stood up, put his arms up with the thumbs-up sign, and yelled "TWO THUMBS UP FOR MATURITY!" It was seriously one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Experience #3:
Another sidelining experience: This time U-15 boys, the two teams clearly hated each other and were extremely physical. One of the teams, like in the previous experience, was much more physical than the other team, and consequently was getting more fouls called against it. Again, the parents (who were right behind me) started getting frustrated with the center ref about calling the game fairly. One dad in particular was flipping out and cussing up a storm.

At one point in the game one of the firebird players (the team who felt it was picked on) received the ball on the sideline, and was shoulder-challenged by an opposing player, knocking him to the ground. I'll never know if this was a foul or not, it was probably the most borderline tackle that I've ever seen, but regardless, the center ref did not call a foul. This caused the sideline to erupt even more viciously, and provoked more four-letter words from the certain dad.

Of course the firebird player was also fired up, partly because of his ballistic sideline supporters, therefore he proceeded to chase the player down from behind and slide-tackle his ankles, with no intent of getting the ball. Upon this, the ref awarded him a straight red-card, which means that he was thrown out of the game and his team had to play a man down. Again, I'm not sure if this foul deserved a straight red-card, but after all the crap that the ref had received from the sideline, the call should not have been very surprising to anyone. Again, after this call, the sideline erupted again, provoking very colorful language from the man right behind me. Finally, the ref had had enough of this wonderful gentleman, and he told him,

"Sir, this is your last warning, if I hear from you again, I'll ask you to go to your car." After just a minute or two, the man erupted over a call again.

"I'm sorry sir, but I've given you your warning, and I need you to go to your car." the ref told him. The man stood defiantly and looked at him as if to say "Why don't you make me?"

"Fine," the ref replied and he blew his whistle three times, indicating that the game was over (by the way, the firebirds were losing by one) despite the fact that there was at least twenty more minutes of the game.

"Fine, I'll leave" the man said, realizing that he may cost his team the game.

"Sorry, I just blew the game, it's over, there's nothing I can do now." the ref replied. After we shook hands with the teams, we (the refs) noticed the rather-upset gentleman walking menacingly towards us across the field. At this point I was seriously scared for my life. The coach called him off and, with some convincing, he left, but I've gotta admit, I was scared to death to walk home.

This post is already really long, but because none of these experiences were particularly funny, I'll share one last one.

Experience #4:
My first comp team was the fogo tigres (fire tigers) coached by my dad and his friend Jose. We were playing a game in ogden with a horrible ref who knew every player on the other team by name, and never left the center circle due to her lack of running ability. Our assistant coach, Jose, has been the referee for games at a high level and recognized her inability to make good calls because of her poor positioning related to the play of the game. Jose kept begging her to get closer to the play so that she could see fouls more easily.

"I'm right where I need to be." she replied.

"Maybe if you were in good enough shape, you COULD get to where you need to be!" Jose said, finally losing his cool completely.

Yeah, he got a yellow card.



Still nothing on my story. Have you gotten anything, Kate?

Words Starting With The Letter "G"

Gag Grove Good Group Gift Gilligan Google Gargle Glint Glide Gloat Gleam Grid Go Guy Glisten Girl Got Gasp Goulashes Gain Gal Greek Greed Get Gee Giraffe Geek Guacamole Gray Guess Gem Geese Grit Giggle Guile Gape Grimace Grip Gel Guild Guzzle Gas Gut Green Glee God Gay Grapple Gleam Grail Glee Give Gun Grease Grow Grew Gnat Gracious Gill Gob Gym Gone Granted Gushy Gnome Graft Grin Great Globe Gripe Glove Grim Geezer Gall Game Gate Gauge Gaze Gauze Guillotine Grisham Gear Grain Graze Grade Gross Grieve Glint


That looks like a lot less than how many it seems like I came up with. Just so you know.

P.S. No word on my story yet. I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything.

Update on my life, because it's my blog :D

Well, most of you have probably already heard (from my mom) but I got my results from the ACT test. My comprehensive was a 30, which pretty much shocked me. I'm not going to lie, however, it was MUCH easier than I had expected. But still, a 30? Without any preparation? I'm as shocked if not more shocked than everyone else. You'll probably remember from my post about taking the test that I was much more confident about the English portion than all the other portions. When it came back, however, English was not my highest section, Reading was. This surprised me, but there was only a 2 point difference between my highest section (reading) and my lowest (science-reasoning). So yeah, I figure that I'll study my rear-end off next year and end up getting a 28 or something. Who knows, maybe the fact that I didn't feel any pressure was the reason why I did so well.

I'm still waiting to see my results from the BYU young writers competition. Kate told me that last year her letter came at the end of April, so any day now I should know how I did.

About a week ago my dad challenged me to get my 14 day blood sugar average from about 200 down to 150. When I have told all my friends about this they have been very confused, so just to clear up any confusion:

My blood-glucose-monitor (the thing that I call my "tester") adds up every blood-glucose-reading that I've had over the last 14 days, divides it by the number of readings (you know, like finding the average of a set of information, it's not all that complex). As of last week this average was about 200. My target range is 80-150. Now some of you are probably saying "Oh, so he's not over by that much" while some of you are saying "Oh my gosh! Is he gonna die? 200? That's really, really, really, really, bad! Isn't it?"

Well the truth is that I HAD the first attitude. I am seeing now that, while I'm not going to die from a 14-day average of 200, I feel so much better when it is lower. Oh, and the reason why I'm suddenly motivated to bring my average down is that my dad is going to pay be 100 buckeroos to do it! Yippee! And he hinted that once I get it down to 150, there might be another hundred waiting for me if I bring my average down to 100!

Right now my average is about 175, but you have to keep in mind that I've only been at this for a week, which means that one of the weeks that my 14 day average is coming from was previous to the challenge. Right now I haven't had a test over 200 since Thursday. In case that doesn't seem monumental to you, IT IS! I doubt that I've gone for 3 days without being over 200 for over a year.

So, there's my life. The AP test is in 12 days, including today, not including the day of the test. That's keeping me pretty busy, so we'll see what happens.

Oh, the joys of seminary

Well, most of you have heard this story by now, but because it is such a good story, I have to tell it anyway.

Seminary started off normal on this particular day. We started with a hymn, then a prayer, a scripture, and then...the quote (Dun Dun Dun). The quote is usually just a glue-in that someone has in their scriptures or the like. On this particular day however (dun dun dun) Wyatt got up and began reading the quote. Many of you have probably already heard it, it's the one that says that when we get up to heaven people will ask us who the prophet of our time was and we'll say "President Hinckley" and "a hush will go over the crowd" and "people will bow in our presence" yada yada yada, completely not in line with doctrine. It's attributed to Boyd K. Packer at the moment, but as I understand it, it was previously attributed to other general authorities.

So after Wyatt shared that enlightening piece of false-doctrine with us he then proceeded to talk about how even thought we aren't fighting real wars today (umm, does the word Iraq come to anyone's mind?) we are fighting a spiritual war today (against the media, all that jazz). Although that statement wasn't completely true either, he did kinda bring it around in the end.

After Wyatt sat down, my seminary teacher, Bro. Schro. (Schroader) got up and explained how we don't really believe that people will bow to us, the only people that we will worship will be Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The discussion got going about that quote and a couple people raised their hands to share experiences that they have had with that quote. One girl even wanted us to read it over again because she hadn't heard it (we didn't of course). Another kid, Kaz (I don't know if that's really his name, but that's what he goes by), talked about how his testimony had basically formed from that quote and how crushed he was when he found out that we didn't believe it to be true. Then he told us how he didn't come to seminary for a few weeks after he found out that it wasn't in line with doctrine (brilliant, right after Wyatt had shared it with us).

Then Bro Schro stated that he was glad that Wyatt had said what he did after he read the quote (about spiritual wars).

"I mean, did anyone NOT feel the spirit when Wyatt was up here?" Brother Schroader RHETORICALLY asked.

As if straight out of a stupid movie, Kaz raised his hand.

Seriously.

Kaz later went on to explain that after his experience with the quote (already mentioned), he was "prevented" from feeling the spirit as soon as Wyatt started reading it.

Umm...ok.

Eventually we got talking about the spiritual war that Wyatt had been talking about and the discussion finally moved past the "false quote." Then Nessa (the girl who had insisted on us reading the quote again [sorry but she is an airhead]) raised her hand and started talking about how wars are worse today than they were in revolutionary times because of new technology. Yeah, she started talking about physical wars...again. Brother Schroader kindly acknowledged the comment and then moved back to what we had been talking about before. After a few minutes, Kaz gave Brother Schroader a funny look.

"Is there something you want to say Kaz?" he asked

"No...I'm just trying to bite my tongue."

As soon as he said that, we knew that he was going to say whatever he was "biting his tongue" about.

"Well if there's something you want to say, go ahead, as long as it's appropriate.

"I'm just really bugged about what Nessa said about how wars are worse now because I think that having a 10 pound lead ball go through your chest and dying slowly and painfully is much worse than dying in an instant from a nuclear bomb."

Seriously.

Somehow Brother Schroader got us off the subject (again) and moved on. But little did we know, it would soon be his turn to say something stupid...

Brief interjection for backround info:
At Viewmont High the majority of the seminary teachers are fairly new to Viewmont, but one has been there for a while, Brother McConkie (yes, related to the apostle). He is notorious (contrary to the stereotype that may come with the name McConkie) for rarely teaching lessons and simply telling his MANY stories during class (everyone loves him, I guess "notorious" was the wrong word). Often "McConkie Stories" come up during lessons. Brother Schroader was going to tell us this story which I'm guessing fit in with his lesson: One night when Brother McConkie was a young boy he was laying on the family trampoline thinking about the universe. He was quickly overcome by the overwhelming vastness and incomprehensibility of it all. Eventually he decided that once you go far enough, you must just hit cement. This was enough to calm his mind for one night, however the next night he thought, "How thick is the cement?" On this particular day in seminary, Brother Schroader began,

"One night when Brother McConkie was young he was laying on his tramp...trampoline that is-

Seriously, he clarified between "tramp" and "trampoline." If you don't understand the homonym that Brother Schroader was clarifying, bless you. After a couple seconds however, me and my seminary class president (of all people) caught on. We busted up laughing and eventually Logan (our class president) excused himself for a few minutes because he felt the was being a distraction.

Within about ten minutes of this fun experience the bell rang.

And that is the story of my most enlightening seminary period to date.

ACT and other random stuff

Well this morning I took the ACT-just for practice-and it went well. Me and my friend Matt were pretty much the only sophomores there, but it's not like that really matters much. I'll break it down for you section-by-section.

Well, it started out a little intense in the English section, and there was even one point t hat the clock had me by 3 and a half seconds...just kidding. I did well on the English, it was extremely easy. I was pretty sure on all of them, and I finished with plenty of time left.

Then we took the math portion, which was pretty easy as well. The highest level of math that it covers is trig, which I've been out of for a year, and most were even earlier math than that. My biggest problem was remembering how to do problems that I haven't done FOREVER. When they gave the "5 minute warning" I still had a few to do that took me a while, but in the end I think I only guessed on 1 or 2.

Then we took the reading portion, which everyone says is the hardest because of the short amount of time that you have to read the passages and answer the questions. Once again, I had 4 or 5 to do when they told us we only had 5 minutes, but again, I only guessed on 1 or 2.

Last we took the science/reasoning section, which I kinda think is dumb, because it shouldn't be called the "science/reasoning" section it should be the "can you read big words and understand graphs" section. Again, the only issue I had was having to guess on the last couple questions because I was running out of time.

In the end, I'm being realistc and confident. I did nothing to prepare other than reading online a little bit the night before. It wasn't a very hard test though, so I figure if I score around the 20-25 range, that's a good place to be for my first time. If I score higher than 25 I'll be thrilled. Realistically, it can only go up (unless I suddenly get stupider I suppose), so no matter what I get, I'll look at it optimistically.

On a completely seperate note...I scored in my game on Wednesday! It was a pretty sweet goal, and I was very close to having an even sweeter goal in the second half (the keeper got a hand to it and it slowly rolled towards the goal AND......oh! it hit the post). It was against a team filled with players who I used to play with who I now hate (soccer-wise at least). Soccer drama, you've gotta love it.

Back to the original subject: What have been some of your ACT experiences?

Answers

what's your dream vacation?
I don't know. Now that I've learned a lot about Europe, it would be cool to visit. I would also love to go to Rio de Janeiro (sp?) and see the gigantic soccer stadium. I can't imagine a lot of things better than a houseboat on lake powell though:).

what is your 16th bday party going to be like?
I don't know, I haven't really thought about it yet. I'll probably just be celebrating to be done with the ap test by that point.

who's your hero in life?
A few of my cousins, a few of my uncles, my dad, my mom, and my grandparents for sure. (By "a few" of uncles and cousins, I don't mean that I don't look up to ALL of my uncles and cousins (and aunts etc.) for something, I have just picked a few that I really admire.

if you could talk to anyone (dead or alive) who would it be and why?
man, that's a toughy, I would love to talk to my grandma nilsen. Ya, that's probably the biggest one.

Who is your favorite cousin that hasn't been born yet and that's in Natalie's belly?
Is there more than one?!

What is your quest?
To seek the holy grail (actually, it's probably just to reach my full potential)

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European?

If you had to choose between having rodent fur on your arms or having a laugh that sounded like a seal, which would you choose?
Definitely the seal laugh, people would probably think it was wierd at first and then think that it was funny, much better than rodent fur.

When you are a parent, what things would you like to do the way your parents do?
Well, as much as my teenage-self hates to admit it, I will probably be similar to my parents in "strictness." Other than that, I haven't really given it much thought.

If you had to choose a favorite Aunt who lives in Cincinnati, who would it be?
I repeat: There's more than one?!

If you didn't have to take math classes, would you choose to?
Ya, probably, not trig, but I would definitely take geometry, it makes sense and truly demonstrates logic thinking.

If you were a Star Wars character, who would be?
I don't know, I'm not a big star wars guy, but probably obi-wan, because he's smart, wise, plus he can kick most people's butt!

where do you want to live when you get old (like me and dad)?
Farmington Utah, or Oakley Idaho

If you could be with Grandpa Nilsen and Grandma Betty for one hour what would you choose to do?
Sheesh, I haven't given this one much thought either. idk, I'd probably just ask them what they wanted to do. Probably just talk now that I think about it.

What would you want to talk about?
their life, my mom and uncles growing up.

If you could go anywhere in the world--where would you go?
Well, I already pretty much answered this, but just to mix things up, I'll say Saudi Arabia :)

1. Am I invited to the birthday bash?
I haven't really thought about what I'm going to do yet, so i don't really know...

2. What do you really have against country music?
twangy, mushy, always about close to the same thing, annoying beyond belief, should I stop now?

3. Who is the most eligible BYU football player bachelor for me to find and date?
I'll name a few, but keep in mind that i haven't done any research as to who is married: Jan Jorgensen, Mckay Jacobsen (that is, when he gets off his mission), Joe Semanoff, HARVEY UNGA!

4. Do you ever wear the color red? (I guess of the U is 'pink' this question would have to be eliminated)
No, not really, I own a red tie, but I only wear that during the summer (football and basketball are out-of-season)

5. What is your favorite moment from 'The Office'?
Either Dwight's Speech or Prison Mike, oh man, I'm laughing just thinking about them.

Thanks to everyone who asked (for those of you who didn't, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits).

Sorry about the punctuation, capitalization and proper spelling (or the lack thereof).

That thing where you get to ask me any question and I answer it.*

See title. :)


*Sorry Thomas, you doing this again made me want to do it. I know I'm completely copying you.

Life, Time, Money, and Soccer

About three weeks ago was my first outdoor soccer practice this season. It was on a Thursday and, according to our coach, Becky Stucki, we needed to be registered by Monday. At this point we only had 9 or 10 players, to field a decent team (considering injuries and schedules and such) you need around 15-17.

"Please," my coach said, "ask anyone you know who has any soccer experience to come play. If we don't have enough guys by Monday, we don't have a team."

So we did.

We asked everyone. And, come Monday, we had plenty of guys. As the last couple weeks have gone by, we've gotten more and more guys. We are now up to 20 players. Let me rephrase that: We are now up to WAY TOO MANY players. We have 5 wings, at least 4 forwards, at least 4 center midfielders (my position), at least 6 defenders…IT'S CRAZY.

Most of you will recall my horrible experience last spring season. Horrible. Terrible. Infuriating. Frustrating. Awful. Crappy. Demoralizing. If you don't know details, let me just say this. I didn't get much playing time. Actually, I got barely any playing time. And I played well, better than a lot of the players on my team.

We had a practice game today, in which I started and got a decent amount of playing time. At the end Becky sat us down and explained the situation. At one point she said,

"Now that we have this many players, I have the luxury of sitting you on the bench unless you show me you can play."

A previously dormant beast suddenly opened its eyes and growled softly inside of me.

"I did show her that I can play," I thought, "last season, during the off-season, right now...you have nothing to worry about Josh. Just play the game like you know how to."

The beast settled down, but stayed awake and sits apprehensively inside me now. If I don't get playing time, I don't know what I'm going to do. All I can do is play my best. But if there are suddenly several angry/venting posts on this blog -heaven forbid- please be prepared for emotion to jump out of the computer and latch on to your face, because it won't be nice.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just play soccer in my spare time to prepare for the season...oh wait...I DON'T HAVE SPARE TIME! I'm taking the ACT test (just for practice and experience) on April 12. I'm taking the AP Euro Exam on May 9 (oh my flippin' crap) I have books to read for english, biology assignments to do, precal to study, money to make, and percussion rehearsals to attend. My life is nuts. Plus, The Office is coming back on soon, so I'll have another obligation on Thursday nights. Did I mention that water-skiing is starting soon?

Oh yeah, I have a chronic illness to monitor. Sorry, I forgot about that one. (Wow, now it just sounds like I'm trying to get sympathy, sorry about that.)

Well, if life isn't hard, it's not worth livin'. Just remember that.

Still Here

Well, I haven't posted in a while, so here are a bunch of the reasons why:

Random Thoughts

I'm going to take a page out of other blogs and share random, just-about-anything-that-pops-into-my-head thoughts.

March madness is so awesome. I pray every night for there to be a "December Madness" of college football. But it's foolish to think that that will ever happen. Why would they do something that everybody wants?

Diabetes sucks.

AP Euro sucks.

I try not to use the word "suck."

But not right now.

Band at Viewmont suc--stinks.

I really wish that I had my license.

I don't know how some of the kids that eat lunch with my group of friends ever ended up eating with us.

Of mice and men was a depressing, but well-written book and it really ticks me off when people just say they hate it because we had to read it for English.

I will continue this when I finish my homework.

Mourning

Well, right now pretty much sucks. We lost in the semi-finals, partially due to the poor officiating, which is partially due to me being stupid and arguing with a ref who I clearly shouldn't have argued with. Then we came home to watch the BYU vs. UNLV game, which we lost. I really feel like punching someone/something right now. My whole family is agitated and everyone is getting set off by the smallest things. To top it all off, I just grabbed a scalding hot pan (because my sister didn't tell me that it was scalding) and now my fingers are killing me. So, just to let you know, unless you are a hard-core UNLV fan, I really don't want to hear any taunting in your comments or when you see me in person, because UNLV beat Utah too.

I think I'll go tear up some Utah pictures and punch a whole in my wall.

Bye. Ouch. Bye

Update

Well, we just played the quarter-final game, playing against a team who was not as good as the team we played Thursday. We had a bit of an off game, but we pulled it out. I didn't score this game, but made a couple nice plays, and I can redeem myself today at 2 when we play in the semi-final. If we win, the championship isn't for two weeks! Lame sauce! I'll be out of rhythm in two weeks! Oh well, what can ya do? Wish me luck this afternoon.

Update

Region b-ball

I just got back from a teachers region basketball game. It was an awesome game and we pulled it out in the end. I scored two 3-pointers and a toe-one-the-line 2-pointer. When we were down 31-35, I hit a big three to pull within one. Although the adrenaline of a close soccer game can get really high, there is nothing quite like the intensity of a close basketball game. We played good defense and took pretty smart shots.

*Highlight of the night* Before the game, the ref asked one of the players on our team to say the prayer, however, he is not a member, so we weren't sure how he was going to handle it. He did really well, until the very end, it went like this:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, thank you for letting us get to come play this fun game, basketball. Help us to have good sportsmanship. In the name of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, amen.

It was so awesome, we chuckled and turned to him, "that was totally pro," he said.

Region b-ball

Quotably Quotable

These are a bunch of my favorite quotes, some I got from movies, some I got from my dad’s favorite inspirational quotes, and some are from songs. If you want to guess what they’re from, that’s fine, but I’m not numbering them or making it a contest. Enjoy! (Sorry if I don’t get some of them word for word.)

You think you are some kind of Jedi or something? Waving your hand around like that?

Desire is the pilot of the soul.

Shootin’ BB guns and sippin’ lemonade, this is the way friends are made.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and world remains and is immortal.

I’m Louie Lastic, naval family just moved here from Baylor, somebody said football, so I come runnin’. What’s goin’ on everybody?

You would think that this would bring me happiness, if at the end of every rainbow there was a treasure chest. Sometimes havin’ more is really less, take a look inside yourself, you’ll realize your really blessed.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

What’s the good of all those push-ups if you can’t lift a bloody log?

It’s somethin’ unpredictable, but in the end it’s right, I hope you had the time of your life.

If every simple song I wrote to you would take your breath away, I’d write it all.

A man will never know all that he can do unless he undertakes more than he possible can.

Do you believe in miracles? YES!

Did you think the play sucked bigtime?

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they never stopped to enjoy it.

You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try to kill each other like civilized people?

You should know, everywhere I go, you’re always in my mind, in my heart, in my soul.

For we are always what our situations hand us, it’s either sadness or euphoria.

Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart, like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard?

Good News and Some Venting

Well, do you want the good news or venting first? Oh wait...well, I guess I'll save the good news for last.

So, about soccer...hmm, where do I start...I guess I will start by restating my biggest frustration, which I know most of you already know, which is: I know that my best soccer is high-school level soccer. Again, could mean 1/a combination of two things:

1) I didn't play my best at tryouts

2) I wasn't noticed

First you have to understand that I am not a flashy soccer player. Although I admire flashy, in-your-face players, I'm not one of them. My style of soccer is hang out in the middle, be aggresive on defense, irritate the other team, make solid passes, and create scoring opportunities for my team. As you can see, none of those aspects included dribbling or scoring. Whenever I get frustrated with my "lack of flashy-ness", I remember something that my uncle James told me one time when I was getting frustrated about not having scored in a long time. He said,
"You just play your position and be where you're supposed to be and the goals will come. Don't go looking for goals because if you do that, you may lose scoring opportunities by being selfish."
I have since realized that some of the best players in the world do very little besides being in the right spot at the right time and taking solid shots when they see an opening. This has proved successful as I have scored several goals over the last couple seasons. In a tryout setting, however, being the "sit in the middle and try to create opportunities" guy gets very little recognition. Looking back on tryouts, I don't remember one specific time that I flat-out lost the ball or made a horrible decision. That is one of the biggest reasons why I feel that I should be on the team.

One of the things that the coach told us before tryouts was,

"I'll be looking for players with quick-thinking and a brilliant first touch." (He's British so he uses words like "bloody brilliant", it's awsome) Now if I had to pick the one thing that I think I do best, it would be my quick thinking. On the field I am constantly thinking, "if this ball comes to me, what am I going to do with it?" This is one of the biggest reasons why I rarely dribble, because I usually know what I want to do with the ball. I have also always felt like my first touch is good, not great, but good. One of the things which will help you most with your first touch is juggling, and I'm doing all right in the juggling department, so my first touch isn't half-bad either. The coach also said that, "if you have those two qualities, we will keep you on the team." This is one of the other reasons that I feel that I should have made the team.

The last reason is the people who made the team. There are a lot of players who I think deserve to be on the team, but there are a few who I don't view as being better than me at all. For example, there is one freshmen who made it who might be 2 inches taller than my little sister Elizabeth. He couldn't weigh more than 90 pounds either. The biggest difference between high-school and club soccer is the physicality. SOOO many more fouls get let go in high school soccer than in club. It's not all bad either, but when your 2'1", and you weigh 24.3 pounds, your gonna get run over by some senior from alta. Why did he make it then, you may ask. Because his brother is one of the senior captains, that's why. Now I'm sorry, I know that my view of myself as a player is different than the next guy's but there is no way that a kid that's probably 4'8" is a better high-school soccer player than me. No way, no how.

There is a lot more I could say, but I'll spare you because this post is already extremely long. Like I said before though, the only thing I can do this year is work harder so I can make the team next year. Everyone says that boys soccer is the hardest sport to make at Viewmont both because of the talent and because of the amount of people that try-out.

As for the good news, I scored an 88% on the AP Euro test today!!! WOOHOO! That's the best I've gotten all year in an extremely difficult class. So ya, I'm pretty amazing.

That's all I've got to say.

FIV story, Kate's style

The Francis Family had just finished packing to go on their vacation to the Uinta Mountains. Sam was bringing a silly bookcase, Jenny a nasty microwave, Jake a happy Corvette, and Luke a gruesome basketball. Dad pulled together the family to go over the agenda for the vacation.

"Ok guys, here's the plan," he said. "it's going to take us about 16 hours to get to the glamorous campsite. When we get there, Sam and Jake will set up the portly tent while mom, Jenny, and I start getting a moldy dinner ready."

"What are we having?" asked Jake.

"Popcorn and fishsticks." replied dad. "We'll eat dinner and then spend some time telling hilarious stories or running around the field. Friday morning mom and Luke are on breakfast duty, while Jenny and I get the canoes ready to go canoeing just before lunch. After lunch we can spend the rest of the time leaping, canoeing or whatever we want to do."

"Can we walk?" asked Jenny.

"No it'll be too cold for walking," said dad, "but we can do some slouching if you want. Then we’ll have chocolate pudding, made by mom and I. In the evening we can play night games or have a camp fire and make s’mores or whatever we want to do. Saturday morning Sam and Jake will make breakfast—

“Bean, cheese, and jalapeno burritos and grilled cheese sandwiches baby!” said Jake and Sam in unison, high-fiving each other.

“Then we’ll break camp, and go see The Princess Bride if we feel like it.”

“Sweet!” said all the kids together.

When they were just 1 mile down the road, the station wagon started stretching and died.

“Snap!” said dad, “We’re out of gas!”

Dad headed down the road to the nearest gas station while mom and the kids played several games of “I’m thinking of a person.” After 2008 hours, dad returned and the family was off again.

Upon arriving on the campsite, they found that it wasn’t much of a campsite, in fact it took Jake and Sam 19780 hours to pick up all the rocks. Other than the fishsticks getting a little burned, the rest of the evening went well and the family fell asleep hoping that there would be few miscues for the rest of the trip.

Sam awoke slowly in the middle of the night to a skinny sound in the campsite. Scared to death he laid back down, hoping the noise would go away. It didn’t however, and started getting louder. This time his dad woke up. He opened the tent window and saw a Liger, pawing at the shovel they had brought along. Politely searching through the kitchen bag, dad found a spoon and a delicious pot.

“Ok Sam, on the count of three, I want you to whistle as loud as you can. Ready? One…two…THREE!”

Dad swore the pot repeatedly and Sam let out an ear-splitting whistle, waking the rest of the family. Luckily the deceased Liger got scared and lumbered off. After the rest of the family had received an explanation and comfort, they all fell back asleep.

The next morning after just a few pancakes had been made Luke accidentally knocked the bowl with all the batter in it to the ground, spilling it all out. There was enough pancakes for each person to have one and everyone got a little piece of leftover fishsticks from the night before.

After having a lot of fun canoeing before lunch, Jenny and Sam asked if they could go out again.

“Sure, but be careful.” said dad.

After being out on the lake for a while, Jenny and Sam started getting more confidence, going faster and making sharper turns. After a while the inevitable happened; on a certain sharp turn, Jenny and Sam went over the edge flipping the canoe over.

Quitely they were wearing life jackets and were able to swim the decapitated canoe to shore and get it turned over. As they were turning it over, however, Jenny lost her grip and dropped the canoe on her Democratic foot, putting a major ding in the canoe. Worried about what dad would say, but otherwise unconcerned with the canoe, Sam suggested that they head back to camp and return for the canoe later.

They shivered all the way to camp and returned to the sight of an extinguished fire. They explained what had happened, and changed into some dry clothes while dad started a fire. It took a while to get a fire going, due to the large amount of water that had been used to put it out, but eventually Jenny and Sam were warm and dry, ready for dinner.

Soon the chocolate pudding was ready, which happened to be the first meal that hadn’t been burned or otherwise harmed. They did realize, however, that they had forgotten the caviar that were going to have with the chocolate pudding. After an exhausting day, they spent the evening sleeping in their sleeping bags, telling stories, and sharing memories.

Just after everyone had fallen asleep, a loudly Republican light flashed through the tent followed by loud, roaring thunder. This woke everyone up and no one could fall asleep until the storm had passed. Eventually it died down to a hard-hearted sprinkle with some smelly wind, but everyone was able to fall asleep again.

When they woke up they found the tent lopsided and sagging on one end. One of the tent poles had been snapped in the violent wind.

“Crumb!” said Sam, “I don’t know about you guys, but I say we get out of here before something else goes wrong on this vacation.”

“Ya,” said Jake, “at least we still have The Princess Bride to look forward to.”

Quickly they broke camp, ate a quick breakfast, and got on the road. There was a flashy wreck on the freeway, which prolonged the ride from 16 hours to 24 hours. Just when they were approaching the exit so they could go see the movie, mom said,

“It seems like we forgot something, did everyone pack their bags?”

“Yes,” everyone replied.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment thinking and then,

“The canoe!” said Sam, “Jenny and I left it on the bank and we never went and picked it up!”

“Dash it all!” said dad, “Well, why don’t I go drop you all off at the movie theater and I’ll get Mr. Thompson (their neighbor) to go with me to get the canoe.”

After the movie everyone stated their opinion.

“I thought it was damp!” said Jake.

“I thought it was muscled!” said Sam.

“I thought it was vomitous!” said Jenny.

“I thought it was gorgeous!” said mom.

“I thought it was rough!” said Luke.

As they walked outside the movie theater, they realized that Dad had the car. And so, they waited for several hours until he came and picked them up.

And that is the story of the Francis family vacation.

My apologies...

Sorry Kate, I also need:

4 numbers
1 animal/creature
1 more adjective

Update and FIV info

Ok, so I didn't make the team. This was going to be a venting post about all the things that I'm frustrated about, but instead I'll tell you my biggest frustration which is: I know that my best is good enough for the high school team. This means one or a combination of two things:
Either 1) I didn't play my best
or 2) I wasn't noticed out of the 75 or so players that tried out.
Luckily I'm still going to have a place to play this spring and, while I'm still pretty upset, I've decided that the only thing that I can do is work harder this year than I did last year so that I can make the team next year (you know, besides swearing at the coaches and those who did make the team who [in my opinion] didn't deserve it :-))
Anyway, I'll probably have a post about it in the future when I'm not as fired-up about it, but for now I'll just take my anger out by becoming a better player.

So without further ado, from Kate I need:
22 adjectives
5 "thing" nouns
6 food items
1 movie
3 frustration phrases (like "dang!" or "rats!")
8 verbs
4 adverbs

Note to Kate: When is it again that we find out how our stories did?