Sorry that it has been more like 2 weeks. After reading all of your stories I felt like I couldn't really pick one that was better than all the others. So I've posted them here, in no particular order, for your enjoyment. For some reason blogger isn't allowing me to change fonts or anything, so i can't emphasize the inserted words, although you should be able to tell which ones were changed :)
Kate’s
Once upon a time lived the tricky Brian Family. Matt and Louie lived sweetly with their 4 sandy children: a crunchy 16year old named Paul, a creamy 200 year old named David, a freezing 45 year old named Brent, and a hot 1 year old named Freddie.
One radical day the Brians decided to take a difficult vacation. Matt, being the adventurous type, decided to allow each member of the family to bring nothing but -34 changes of clothes and 1 other item of their choice. Paul decided to bring a super toothbrush, David some powerful scissors, Brent a tough machete, and Freddie a realistic blanket.
After quickly jumping in the car and driving 89 miles, the Brians met the first of many obstacles on their innovative vacation. In the middle of the road stood a wild gnu. “Just scrub it to death with my toothbrush!” Paul suggested. “It’s worth a shot,” said Matt. And so they did, leaving the curly gnu utterly defeated.
20000 more miles down the road, they met a fancy, horrendous, scary beatle, which was charging their car snappily. “Chop its face with my scissors!” shouted David. “It’s worth a shot,” said Matt. And so they did, leaving the beatle utterly defeated.
Finally the Brians reached their destination, a ghost-like, savage lake called Rough Lake. They quickly set up camp, running out of precious daylight due to the unforeseen obstacles along the way. Soon they had dinner: smooth, ruddy bananas, and rowdy tacos. Although none of them said anything, everyone felt that, as bill and ted might put it, “Something strange was afoot at the circle K” as they settled down to get some rest.
Brent awoke sorely at 3 o’clock in the morning to see a royal, rugged, rumpled frog standing outside the tent window, looking down at him. “Well hello,” said Brent, nervously. “Hello, I’ve come to get your back,” the frog responded. “Oh, well in that case, take this!” and Brent hurled his rash machete at the sad frog, leaving it utterly defeated. The next day, the Brian family burned a breakfast of sacrilegious oatmeal and sadistic rice. Recognizing the bad omen at once, they decided to call the vacation off and go skiing.
After skiing for only 23 dollars, the Brians headed home. On their way home, however, they met a sagacious trout. “Just hang by its neck, with my sagging blanket!” yelled Freddie. “It’s worth a shot,” said Matt. So they did, leaving the saintly trout utterly defeated. Soon the Brians were home, safe and free from these strange happenings. And they lived happily every after.
Sean’s
Once upon a time lived the fantastic Billy Family. Bob and Mary lived rapidly with their 4 bulky children: a pleasant 44.324234year old named Sally, a cowardly 1 year old named Antonio, an angelic 1 billion and 1 year old named Jecepe, and a grand ½ year old named Dave.
One flashy day the Billy family decided to take a bold vacation. Bob, being the adventurous type decided to allow each member of the family to bring nothing but 65 changes of clothes and 1 other item of their choice. Sally decided to bring an obese Pillow, Antonio a pudgy ipod, Jecepe a vibrant stop sign, and Dave a picturesque clock. A
fter daily jumping in the car and driving 3 miles, the Billys met the first of many obstacles on their juicy vacation. In the middle of the road stood a boring Liger. “Beat it with my Pillow!” Sally suggested. “It’s worth a shot,” said Bob. And so they did, leaving the melodic Liger utterly defeated.
144 more miles down the road, they met some weak, turqoise, fabulous ants, which were charging their car happily. “Just throw my ipod at their faces!” shouted Antonio. “It’s worth a shot,” said Bob. And so they did, leaving the ants utterly defeated.
Finally the Billys reached their destination, a fleshy, wimpy lake called brown Lake. They quickly set up camp, running out of precious daylight due to the unforeseen obstacles along the way. Soon they had dinner: snotty, hard Apple pie, and bloated bananas. Although none of them said anything, everyone felt that, as bill and ted might put it, “Something strange was afoot at the circle K” as they settled down to get some rest.
Jecepe awoke pronto at 3 o’clock in the morning to see a creamy, spicy, juicy dinosaur standing outside the tent window, looking down at him. “Well hello,” said Jecepe, nervously. “Hello, I’ve come to make your bed,” the dinosaur responded. “Oh, well in that case, take this!” and Jecepe hurled his flaky stop sign at the peculiar dinosaur, leaving it utterly defeated.
The next day, the Billy family burned a breakfast of wacky mashed potatoes and gravy and frustrated pizza. Recognizing the bad omen at once, they decided to call the vacation off and go play Badmitten. After playing Badmitten for only 271 dollars, the Billys headed home.
On their way home, however, they met a pink bunny. “Just decapitate it, with my pasty clock!” yelled Dave. “It’s worth a shot,” said Bob. So they did, leaving the balloonish bunny utterly defeated. Soon the Billys were home, safe and free from these strange happenings. And they lived happily every after.
Grandma’s
Once upon a time lived the Smooth Orson Family. Juan and Juanita lived haphazardly with their 4 gargantuan children: a measly 1k year old named Jeramiah, a finicky 24 year old named Felipe, an abundant 7 year old named Fernando, and a loose 300 year old named Miaria.
One floppy day the Orsons decided to take an arrogant vacation. Juan, being the adventurous type decided to allow each member of the family to bring nothing but 1 change of clothes and 1 other item of their choice. Jeramiah decided to bring a widening purse, Felipe a fast-moving tool box, Fernando a wobbly ladder, and Miaria a strong radio.
After scarcely jumping in the car and driving 39 miles, the Orson met the first of many obstacles on their fragrant vacation. In the middle of the road stood a loosey-goosey snake. “Why don’t we just suffocate it with my purse?” Jeramiah suggested. “It’s worth a shot,” said Juan. And so they did, leaving the ancient snake utterly defeated.
84 more miles down the road, they met an adorable, winsome, affable old man, who was charging their car reluctantly. “Just kick my tool box at its face!” shouted Felipe. “It’s worth a shot,” said Juan. And so they did, leaving the old man utterly defeated.
Finally the Orsons reached their destination, a mean-spirited, willy-nilly lake called Rare Lake. They quickly set up camp, running out of precious daylight due to the unforeseen obstacles along the way. Soon they had dinner: unassuming, worldly-wise chips, and street-smart yogurt. Although none of them said anything, everyone felt that, as bill and ted might put it, “Something strange was afoot at the circle K” as they settled down to get some rest.
Fernando awoke blindly at 3 o’clock in the morning to see an innocent, mind-mannered, evocative squirrel standing outside the tent window, looking down at him. “Well hello,” said Fernando, nervously. “Hello, I’ve come to blow your nose,” the squirrel responded. “Oh, well in that case, take this!” and Fernando hurled his fragrant ladder at the smothering squirrel, leaving it utterly defeated.
The next day, the Orson family burned a breakfast of winning lettuce and downcast marinara sauce. Recognizing the bad omen at once, they decided to call the vacation off and go sky diving. After sky diving for only 65 dollars, the Orsons headed home. On their way home, however, they met a numb butterfly. “Just smash it with my abominable radio!” yelled Miaria. “It’s worth a shot,” said Juan. So they did, leaving the frigid butterfly utterly defeated. Soon the Orsons were home, safe and free from these strange happenings. And they lived happily every after.
Matt’s
Once upon a time lived the cowardly Valentine Family. Waldo and Juliet lived mourningly with their 4 giant children: a smokin’ 8 year old named Dick, a flabby 13 year old named Rafael, a chewy 21 year old named Matt, and a fluffy 33 year old named Eduardo.
One cuddly day the Valentines decided to take an drunk vacation. Waldo, being the adventurous type decided to allow each member of the family to bring nothing but 45 changes of clothes and 1 other item of their choice. Dick decided to bring a crazy Cell phone, Rafael a clumsy belt, Matt a gay beanie, and Eduardo an elusive printer.
After proudly jumping in the car and driving 66 miles, the Valentines met the first of many obstacles on their wicked vacation. In the middle of the road stood a flirtatious Matt. “Why don’t we just stun it with my Cell phone?” Dick suggested. “It’s worth a shot,” said Waldo. And so they did, leaving the happy Matt utterly defeated.
99 more miles down the road, they met an angry, hot, attracive llama, which was charging their car righteously. “Just whip its face with my belt!” shouted Rafael. “It’s worth a shot,” said Waldo. And so they did, leaving the llama utterly defeated. Finally the Valentines reached their destination, a beautiful, sexy lake called sweet Lake. They quickly set up camp, running out of precious daylight due to the unforeseen obstacles along the way. Soon they had dinner: strong, big Peaches, and sleepy gouda cheese. Although none of them said anything, everyone felt that, as bill and ted might put it, “Something strange was afoot at the circle K” as they settled down to get some rest.
Matt awoke wonderfully at 3 o’clock in the morning to see a greedy, buff, cocky parrot standing outside the tent window, looking down at him. “Well hello,” said Matt, nervously. “Hello, I’ve come to Poop your pants,” the parrot responded. “Oh, well in that case, take this!” and Matt hurled his stuck-up beanie at the lovely parrot, leaving it utterly defeated.
The next day, the Valentine family burned a breakfast of sick lettuce and timid hot dogs. Recognizing the bad omen at once, they decided to call the vacation off and go do Yoga. After doing Yoga for only 101 dollars, the Valentines headed home. On their way home, however, they met a puffy worm. “Just smash its neck, with my brave printer!” yelled Eduardo. “It’s worth a shot,” said Waldo. So they did, leaving the blue worm utterly defeated. Soon the Valentines were home, safe and free from these strange happenings. And they lived happily every after.
Dad's
Once upon a time lived the warm Bin Laden Family. Sadam Hussein Bin Laden and Barack Obama Bin Laden lived astonishingly with their 4 fuzzy children: an enormous 3 million year old named Moses Bin Laden, an irritating 7 and a half year old named Ryan Seacrest Bin Laden, a sickening 53 year old named Chuck Norris Bin Laden, and a fast 273 about a billion year old named Mike Tyson Bin Laden who they called Tyson.
One glitzy day the Bin Ladens decided to take a flighty vacation. Sadam, being the adventurous type decided to allow each member of the family to bring nothing but about a billion changes of clothes and 1 other item of their choice. Moses decided to bring a serious iPod Touch, Ryan a contemplative garage-door opener, Chuck a green screwdriver, and Tyson a frigid bowling ball.
After poorly jumping in the car and driving 6 miles, the Bin Ladens met the first of many obstacles on their heavy vacation. In the middle of the road stood a mushy lobster. “Why don’t we just kill it with my iPod Touch?” Moses suggested. “It’s worth a shot,” said Sadam. And so they did, leaving the eye-popping lobster utterly defeated. 57.73 more miles down the road, they met a ripped, slanted, bumpy umpa lumpa, which was charging their car longingly. “Just fire my garage-door opener at its face!” shouted Ryan. “It’s worth a shot,” said Sadam. And so they did, leaving the umpa lumpa utterly defeated.
Finally the Bin Ladens reached their destination, a scruffy, toe-curling lake called fascinating Lake. They quickly set up camp, running out of precious daylight due to the unforeseen obstacles along the way. Soon they had dinner: chunky, watered-down taco salad, and slimy macaroni salad. Although none of them said anything, everyone felt that, as bill and ted might put it, “Something strange was afoot at the circle K” as they settled down to get some rest.
Chuck awoke dejectedly at 3 o’clock in the morning to see a fat, childish, blood-curdling wolverine standing outside the tent window, looking down at him. “Well hello,” said Chuck nervously. “Hello, I’ve come to clean your ears,” the wolverine responded. “Oh, well in that case, take this!” and Judas hurled his purple screwdriver at the fearful wolverine, leaving it utterly defeated.
The next day, the Bin Laden family burned a breakfast of blue-ish tuna salad and lightning-quick potato salad. Recognizing the bad omen at once, they decided to call the vacation off and go snorkeling. After snorkeling for only 87 dollars, the Bin Ladens headed home. On their way home, however, they met a prickly jolly green giant. “Just smash it, with my blind bowling ball!” yelled Tyson. “It’s worth a shot,” said Sadam. So they did, leaving the hairy jolly green giant utterly defeated. Soon the Bin Ladens were home, safe and free from these strange happenings. And they lived happily every after.
