Explanation :)

Okay, so I feel bad because I've left some ominous, scary posts. Here's the story, so everyone knows what's going on.

So Lauren and I had been dating for about 14 months, and were just the happiest couple ever. We had lots of fun, we had our bad days like any couple, but 90 percent of our relationship was just smooth sailing and the other 10 percent was solved easily.

Over Thanksgiving break, Lauren broke up with me very unexpectedly. I didn't really have any forewarning, and that's part of what made it really hard. Originally, she said the reason was that with my mission coming up in about 6 months, we needed to break up, that it was just the best thing. Now I had been having similar feelings (about needing to slow down and become much less attached in order for me to be a good missionary and her to not be miserable when I left). I thought that just breaking up seemed like a pretty drastic action, but I accepted it and while it really hurt, I knew that I'd just have to get over it.

(I'm leaving out specific details here, but you'll all get the overview.) So after she broke up with me, and after saying that she still wanted to be good friends and everything, she was a really big jerk to me. I could give specific examples, but it's really not necessary, it's easy enough to say that she was really mean and did not show that she wanted to be friends. If anything, she made it quite clear that she didn't ever want to talk to me again, and that her life was much better without me. So that was hard.

Really hard.

But, I'm a strong guy, and I started getting over it. It really hurt, but slowly I was getting better at not thinking about it and getting over it.

The final dagger (and the origin of my last post) was that I found out that she already hooked up with a new guy. And that she's been with him for a week. This just really hurt that she didn't have respect or dignity to give me (or herself, for that matter) time to let wounds heal. So just to clear up the timeline--she hooked up with a new guy after about a week and a half of breaking up with me after us being together for 14 months. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that that is way too quick.

The hard part is that I feel like I've handled the situation so well and yet it's just one thing after another. But obviously, she has her agency. She's 16 and it's not an easy situation for her either. I definitely wish that she was handling the situation more maturely, but all I can control is how I react.

The point is, I'm fine. Yes, it really hurts. I never thought that she would treat me this way. But, for the most part, I am doing much better. Obviously it's hard to not think about her, and that's when I throw my little pity parties like my last blog post. But I don't want anyone to worry. With time, it'll pass, and every day it gets a little easier. Thank you all for your support. I love you guys. I am truly blessed to have family and friends who care about me.